The Exact Right Shade

Eliza’s little fingers probed the depths of her bag of crayons, digging and searching. Before her, on the wooden table, lay a coloring book filled with colored turtles, princesses, and other scenes. A half-colored frog smiled up at her from the page as he waited for the child artist to find the right shade. Her hand dug deep into the bag, occasionally pulling out some shade of crayon that she’d look at but then cast aside. Her little fingers pulled out an unused red crayon, nearly perfect and fresh from the box, but she tossed it back in. A moment later, she fished out a blue crayon. Its top was worn with use, yet far from used up. Again, she tossed it back into the bag. It went on like this for several minutes. Out, she’d pull one of the waxy colors—orange, purple, yellow— examine it and toss it back into the bag. Finally, her little fingers pulled up from the bottom the broken little nub of what used to be a full green crayon. It had long been snapped into multiple pieces; its paper was ripped and mostly missing, but it was the shade she needed. And so, with the perfect shade in her hand, she went to work, completing the smiling frog who patiently awaited his needed hue.

How often have we heard people say, “I am as God made me?” It’s an oft-stated cliché that we like to use to justify being imperfect or to explain away our failings. We are indeed imperfect, but the reality is that we’re not as God made us. That’s not who we were supposed to be. We were all born with a spiritual defect, an oddity.

We are sinful. Each of us is broken, and that is our spiritual defect. It’s a hazard. It’s a poison. If we were a product produced by a company, we’d all be recalled because of the danger we pose. Whatever image we work to cultivate, no matter how cool, no matter how perfect, put together, or moral we pretend we are, that’s what we’re doing: pretending. Every morning, I resolve to be the best person I can be, but it doesn’t take long to see that “the best person I can be” isn’t very good. I may not be a murderer or the worst of the worst, but I’m not the best of the best either.

The first step to recovery and the first step to solving a problem is to first admit the problem. We must first define it. We are not good. We are not as God made us, and we are not ok. Each of us is broken and defective, but we cannot justify it by declaring to the world, “I am as God made me.” A world full of broken, sinful people was not the original design. Sin has tainted us. We live in a world of sin, full of broken people who wake up in a broken world and create more pain and suffering.

But there is hope. There is an answer to our problem and there is a use for every single one of us. It’s no secret that life is difficult. Many trials and temptations lie ahead and follow us from behind. No matter what we’ve done or how broken and beaten down we are. No matter how much the years have weighed on us or worn us down. No matter what other people have done to us or what we’ve done to others. Whatever addiction or despicable part of ourselves we wrestle with, there is hope.

Our hope is Jesus. Jesus offers us a path forward. Through Him, our sins are forgiven. Jesus doesn’t cast us aside. He is a friend to the friendless. He has love for the unloved. He is a companion to the lonely. He is a map and compass for the lost. He is healing for the sick, and he is rest for the weary. In fact, the worse we are, the greater He is for us. Jesus came for the worst of us. He chooses broken people.

He pulls us in. He redeems us and uses us. This story of Eliza and her crayons is our story. Like Eliza, He will reach into the bag and pull out exactly the shade He needs to fulfill the purpose He has in mind. It doesn’t matter how good we are or how we came out of the womb. Jesus will paint his portrait using each of us where we are needed. Like Eliza, Jesus doesn’t care how broken and worn we are. For Him, we are the exact right shade. Each of us is called to color one part of the picture. Each of us is exactly the right shade for the right moment.

We may be broken, used-up nubs, but our color is still needed. So long as there is breath in our lungs, there’s a purpose for us. Whatever our talents are… however meager or however great, they are perfect for that specific purpose. The Lord is filling His bag full of crayons of every shade, but we can all rest assured that if we’re in that bag, His hand will pull us out, and we’ll be the hue needed to complete the picture. He’s always looking for the exact right shade and you are perfect for what He needs.